27

Hella Fail

By Mike Kojima

 

One of my good friends works for a large respected tuner shop which shall remain nameless.  I was there working on a project the other day when I got to witness some stuff from the lifestyle side of our industry.  Probably most of you know about the stance "movement" .  Although I like a car with a good stance and good fitment of the wheels and tires, the latest trend is to take that look to the extreme.

Extreme to where the performance of the car is degraded is one thing, I can see people only wanting a look, but extreme to where it is mechanically unsafe is another.  Sure you can be responsible for your own demise but a car is a big responsibility because in the process of removing yourself from the gene pool, you can take others with you who don't wish to be along for the ride.

So lets see what the underneath of a super trendy Hella Flush Poke style car looks like.

The latest extreme is "Poke" style.  This is sort of like how lowriders stretch narrow tires on wide wheels but taken to greater extremes.  This is something like a 205 tire on a 9.5 or 10" wheel.  The front wheels were almost de-beading and one of the rear wheels was starting to debead.  That's dope!  The car was so low the wheel lip was almost touching the fender which is about the effect desired.  This means that if the car had suspension travel the wheel lip would smash into the fender.  Good thing stuff like suspension isn't important to the Stance Nation.  It's okay for function not be be but safety is another thing.
The down pipe is a little worse for wear.  I hope the bung for the wideband is up higher or it might read a little lean if you know what I mean.
The exhaust is flattened as well.  Maybe it's better to use a smaller diameter exhaust and downpipe for better clearance?  I mean if you don't care about performance why have a pesky large diameter exhaust, it's just going to become smaller anyway.
A little flange clearance grinding is no problem but the bent upwards and internally broken O2 sensor might be if you care about how your closed loop operation works.  Maybe that's not important because Form>Function.  Good thing the exhaust is there to protect the chassis and transmission!
Maybe more clearance grinding.  More like self-clearance grinding.  Stainless has good anti wear properties so be certain you get a stainless exhaust.  The exhaust damage isn't the worst or the most dangerous, that's on the next page.

 

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Comments
Markus Frank
Markus Franklink
Friday, July 13, 2012 2:27 AM
haha, I like the irony in the article :)
Leon
Leonlink
Friday, July 13, 2012 4:19 AM
Its probably inappropriate to post the car, but I want to see how the car actually looks like.
importnut
importnutlink
Friday, July 13, 2012 4:54 AM
I think it may be smart to post the picture of the car so people can avoid it on the streets! Who knows how long it will take for those subframe bolts to completely grind off!

Mike, we may be getting old, but I don't think we ever would have thought to do something as ridiculous as this 10-15 years ago!
8695Beaters
8695Beaterslink
Friday, July 13, 2012 6:23 AM
This is a lot of the problem with my car. Next time it's on a lift I'll throw some pics up in the forum of my over-lowered car. I bought it that way and after spending all my money trying to keep it running, I've had nothing to put into getting new springs for it. My frame rails are dented, my exhaust is flattened, and my bumper has no paint on the bottom.
Yoshi Jeffery
Yoshi Jefferylink
Friday, July 13, 2012 8:01 AM
hatorade in 3..2...1...
-Tom-
-Tom-link
Friday, July 13, 2012 9:03 AM
I think my car is too low...Ive only got a couple scuffs on the underside. Mainly from excessively high speed bumps.

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/262162_2209097796750_5636212_n.jpg
Turbowned
Turbownedlink
Friday, July 13, 2012 9:27 AM
Low is a lifestyle bro! A lifestyle for dummies.
stoke
stokelink
Friday, July 13, 2012 9:41 AM
Aluminum lower control arms and gold calipers indicate it's an STi. You unspeakable bastards.

STi adjustable rear lateral links on it, too, which are like $300 for a set. On a car with an underbelly that looks like a war zone.
Max Machine
Max Machinelink
Friday, July 13, 2012 9:56 AM
Sad Subaru
Dusty Duster
Dusty Dusterlink
Friday, July 13, 2012 10:15 AM
I want to see a picture of this travesty.
jamal
jamallink
Friday, July 13, 2012 10:49 AM
I'm willing to bet the main engine wiring harness, which runs through the front fender, didn't look too good either.

Also the IC spray uses a tank in the trunk not the washer reservoir. But try driving on a wet road with non-functional wiper spray.
OMG Its Weasel
OMG Its Weasellink
Friday, July 13, 2012 10:59 AM
Kids do dumb shit, nothing new there.
It's just sad that some of these kids are actually older people who should know better.

When I was shopping for Z33s I cant tell you how many I looked at that were practically laying frame on the pavement. half of them I couldn't get a floor jack under to even look at the bottom. I even saw one where the guy removed all the subframe to body braces to get more low. He had spacers on the subframe bolts that made up for the missing braces. the bolts themselves were almost ground off, the aluminum subframes had been bashed until a portion of the rear one actually buckled at the mid link (arm with the spring bucket) He had put the eccentric bolts back in on that side with adjustable arms to make up for it. Lock out bolts on the other. Dude was in his mid thrities too. wtf man?
Low is a lifestyle eh? Sounds like the kind of lifestyle that has pride parades. (its funny because they actually do drive in packs a lot don't they?)
Mr. T
Mr. Tlink
Friday, July 13, 2012 11:01 AM
I am not even remotely surprised that this article is about a subaru roofles
Mike D
Mike Dlink
Friday, July 13, 2012 11:17 AM
does anyone make drop uprights for the gdc or gc8 chassis?

function and form can coexist but you have to pay to play. whats more expensive a proper suspension setup or a new car in a year and a half. considering i dont think anyone would buy that car any more.
Der Bruce
Der Brucelink
Friday, July 13, 2012 11:22 AM
Friday the 13th...SCARY! Does it scare you as a suspension/chassis guy Mike, seeing such a waste for something meant to be a practical performer? I'm just sad :(
Mike Kojima
Mike Kojimalink
Friday, July 13, 2012 11:26 AM
I am not against low, or having a nice fittment. I am not against mods for looks that hurt performance. I am against doing stuff that could get you killed, or worse yet cause others to get killed when your car fails and you go out of control.
Der Bruce
Der Brucelink
Friday, July 13, 2012 11:49 AM
That's true, break an axle shaft and no braking power to that wheel. Pop a bead at 70 down the 5 and you're darting into adjacent cars. You're right safety 1st over my sorrow of the abuse and neglect.
OMG Its Weasel
OMG Its Weasellink
Friday, July 13, 2012 12:19 PM
Imagine if those subframe bolts actually did wear passed the heads... in traffic... at 60+.

Goodnight!
DieselTech
DieselTechlink
Friday, July 13, 2012 12:41 PM
Its times like this Im glad I live in the boondocks. I have yet to see this latest trend in person.
Mike Kojima
Mike Kojimalink
Friday, July 13, 2012 12:58 PM
Stancenation 260,000 likes on facebook. MotoIQ 22,000. We is outnumbered 12:1 and loving it!
RocketOgre
RocketOgrelink
Friday, July 13, 2012 1:13 PM
The sad part is this looks a lot like the "check out my hella low Daily Driver" threads on the forums.
Mike Kojima
Mike Kojimalink
Friday, July 13, 2012 1:33 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nbm7zAFsp14&feature=related
Honest Mike
Honest Mikelink
Friday, July 13, 2012 1:39 PM
Nothing a bit of JB weld can't fix :P

-disHonest
Aaron LaBeau
Aaron LaBeaulink
Friday, July 13, 2012 1:51 PM
When the zombie apocalypse hits this guy is screwed. MOOR BRAINS! Ima dropping a gear on your zombie ass, wait, what the, Y my wheel come off yo!?
OctaneNation
OctaneNationlink
Friday, July 13, 2012 2:59 PM
A in-car video would be great to hear how Hella LOUD it must be. Maybe the exhaust broke first and then overpowered the axle scraping cacophony.
GCMBob
GCMBoblink
Friday, July 13, 2012 3:28 PM
OMG I just noticed there is a tire on the wheel of the cover pic!
Mr. T
Mr. Tlink
Friday, July 13, 2012 3:40 PM
the worst part of this is that your "friend" at this "shop" probably let this customer stroll straight to his car and head on down the road like normal as soon as he paid the bill. And I can only assume they probably did not even mention any of these concerns to him. amirite?
jeffball610
jeffball610link
Friday, July 13, 2012 5:53 PM
Mike Kojima
Mike Kojimalink
Friday, July 13, 2012 10:28 PM
Nope, tried to tell him his car was very dangerous but the kid would have none of it.
TreyFiveOhJoe
TreyFiveOhJoelink
Saturday, July 14, 2012 1:19 AM
"Stancenation 260,000 likes on facebook. MotoIQ 22,000..." o_0 That is a truly disturbing statistic.
Damn, just think of how many perfectly capable chassis are getting bashed and bent into submission by these damn hipsters. Time to pour some of my 40 on the ground in memory of this Subie.
sr20freak
sr20freaklink
Saturday, July 14, 2012 7:47 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_r6ltUgtFWI&NR=1&feature=fvwrel

These guys are going to hurt somebody..... So when will the laws start attacking suspension modifications like California did on engine modifications starting in the early 80's??
econobox
econoboxlink
Saturday, July 14, 2012 7:59 AM
@GCMBob
Sadly I notice there was a tire on that wheel as well, wtf!
Wrecked
Wreckedlink
Saturday, July 14, 2012 8:31 AM
Hmm, I wonder if there is a market for parts that would help these idiots to not destroy their cars. Like low profile oval exhausts with v-bands, skidplates and new suspension pieces that would improve geometry at such low ride heights.
ian
ianlink
Saturday, July 14, 2012 9:25 AM
call me crazy, but isn't this the reason that people use airbags to "slam" their cars? so they can indeed raise them up a bit for transportation purposes? it looks like the people that slam their 65 impalas are indeed more intelligent that the stance nation folks.
Mike Kojima
Mike Kojimalink
Saturday, July 14, 2012 11:07 AM
One of my friends has a stanced out Subie but he has airbags so he can raise it some when driving.
destrux
destruxlink
Sunday, July 15, 2012 9:54 AM
Yeah, but you have to realize that 50% of the people who "like" stancenation probably don't own running cars or don't own a stanced car. I'll be honest, I follow some of the stance pages on Facebook just to heckle them (and see the occasional nice car). So it's probably only 6:1... lol. I'd bet that 99% of the MotoIQ followers have performance cars though.
willscarcast
willscarcastlink
Sunday, July 15, 2012 10:46 AM
i might get my motoiq card revoked here. i enjoy checking out what the other side is doing. but, since all i see is cars not moving and sitting still, i never consider them in motion at a super low ride height. air bags do allow for that parking lot pimp stance and something more functional when driving. to each their own, but once your choice affects my safety, i have to get away from you as soon as possible. maybe there is a article here on how to achieve such a low stance and still being safe. maybe there are a series of tests once can do on the lift on in the driveway to ensure that a blend of safety and looks are achieved. though you really cant do much to persuade someone from stretching tires on to wheels that are too wide. maybe a lawsuit from a injured person from a accident involving someone who had a tire lose the bead on the highway.
breakfasteatre
breakfasteatrelink
Sunday, July 15, 2012 12:27 PM
http://forums.thecarlounge.com/showthread.php?5760683-Hella-FAIL-motoIQ

posted this on the car lounge. Retards had a field day
-Tom-
-Tom-link
Sunday, July 15, 2012 7:14 PM
Oh god....

http://www.fitfreak.net/forums/2nd-generation-ge-08-present/69483-end-fitdeez.html


And these morons are trying to fool themselves into thinking there is no way slammed suspension could have caused it. Must have been those nasty NJ potholes and inferior Honda welds....
willscarcast
willscarcastlink
Monday, July 16, 2012 6:49 AM
im looking at a few pics of the car above, his car didnt look that low. just barely tucking tire on page 21 of his build. maybe he went lower.

http://i926.photobucket.com/albums/ad109/fitdeeez/27555561.jpg

page 32 went to these

http://i926.photobucket.com/albums/ad109/fitdeeez/IMAG0239.jpg

http://i926.photobucket.com/albums/ad109/fitdeeez/IMAG0286.jpg

http://i926.photobucket.com/albums/ad109/fitdeeez/6501011267_05b6880387_z.jpg

idk, how he wound up like the previous comment. pretty scary though. i hope that by just putting springs and associated bits wont put me like that.
-Tom-
-Tom-link
Monday, July 16, 2012 10:40 AM
The link I posted the guy admitted he would drive it to and from shows absolutely slammed.
-Tom-
-Tom-link
Monday, July 16, 2012 10:43 AM
Also, tucking tire when youre running undersized tires (overall diameter reduced) means a lot more. do a google image search for "fitDeez" and notice most of the pictures show his front bumper about an inch off the ground at the most.
willscarcast
willscarcastlink
Monday, July 16, 2012 7:39 PM
yea, parking lot stance is very different than a stance for the daily driver. there is a fine line between both.
asilentnoise
asilentnoiselink
Tuesday, July 17, 2012 7:22 PM
I track on 17" with nice sticky tires I drift on 15" because of cost, I roll up to local event on 18"
MPistol
MPistollink
Tuesday, July 31, 2012 9:28 PM
I appreciate the honesty. When I first saw this kinda thing take off, I thought about all SCC has taught me over the years. That knowledge allowed me to recognize the error of their ways. Then it dawned on me, there is a new generation of kids that love this stuff, an they don't have SCC to turn to!! I give them motoiq but its "speedfronters" for them! (An I love speedfronters). The greatest thing the "HellaFlush" movement did was make offset important. Once I understood offset I knew how to buy wheels n push things as far as reasonably possible. But things went to crack quickly :(
87 AE86
87 AE86link
Sunday, December 30, 2012 12:15 PM
Unbelievable how some people really don't think of the safety aspect... smh.
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